Saturday, 1 July 2017
Last week I decided to erase all my dating apps and go on a social media cleanse. The days of swiping are over. The rush of getting a match has been replaced by the excitement to prove myself that I can still find a date the old fashioned way.
So hold on to your hipster toques and inside scarves cause I am ready to engage the world beyond my iPhone's screen.
The Gay Christmas
Depends who you ask. Pride is basically the gay Christmas. (for others it is halloween, the Tony Awards or any red carpet)
Pride started as march to protest for respect, for rights and acceptance. The years have passed. People now can get "gay married" and Pride is now a celebration brought to you by all our favourite brands.
I am not going to delve into the politics of Pride and what it means, no worries.
This year I decided to attend Pride, first time as a single man. I mean, what better way to access others "like" me than a party that celebrates people "like" me.
Well. Not so much.
Glittered beards and rainbows aside. The block party I joined was basically a high school dance attended by 200 versions of what seemed like the same guy: "The shirtless muscled meat head douche". Like good mammals, they all hung out within their pack of other shirtless muscled meat heads and didn't relate to any one beyond their group. Mix that with a DJ that played music that could only be dance with what I call " Instagram Boomerang" moves and you have a recipe for ...not love.
The only three people that seemed interested in engaging any other humans were: the nicest but terrible at math drink ticket seller, the guy that sold me a delicious mini "pride sausage" pizza and a crazy European lady that looked like a real housewive on E.
Thank God for my two friends.
It seems I will have to wait to the real Christmas to get a present.
F is for Flirting
Part of my new approach to dating is to try to engage people in any situation that could lead me to a smile, conversation or exchanging of phone numbers.
So, it is time to un-dust my good ol' gaydar and put it to work.
This week I tried public transportation.
Armed with a big smile, one spray of cologne and a flirty attitude I took on my work route crowd.
I tried the "I am shy but interesting as I am obviously listening to a hilarious podcast and laughing out loud approach". Epic fail. All I got was dirty looks.
I tried the "I am super smart and reading the New York times Editorial section approach". Mild fail.
No dirty looks. Not looks at all.
I tried the "I am wearing sunglasses and drinking an iced americano so don't talk to me cause I am to cool for school approach". Too cool for school indeed.
I was running late so I guess I tried the "fuck i am going to be late to work approach". I got a mild sneer.
I tried a simple "smile" approach. Small victory. I got two smiles back.
I guess we all have to begin somewhere.