Friday, 6 October 2017

Let's just...don't

I am all about the embracing the millennial joie de vivre and operate from a place of confidence but sometimes the "you do you" existential MO pushes it.

The following is a list of things you should not do/say on a first date. All based on personal experiences going on dates with an array of awful, interesting, fun and plain just crazy guys.

1) Do NOT disclose your sexual escapades after just one beer. There is nothing sexy about listening to someone tell you they once got a blow job in an alleyway down the street from the bar you are currently having a drink at.

2) Do NOT go silent five minutes into a date, space out and then go on a ten minute diatribe to apologize by disclosing you a very anxious person that never sleeps and might need to take pills. That convo belongs to a pre-date conversation or a third date once you are comfortable with each other.

3a) Do NOT check your phone while on a date and get excited when you get a new match on Tinder.

3b) Do NOT swipe while your date goes to the bathroom and then try to hide it by saying you where checking some emails.

4) Do NOT be late for your date because you were at a Rupaul's Drag Race trivia night.

5) Do NOT start a half hour convo with the waiter and ask him about his career goals.

6) Do NOT add your date to all your social media until after you go on a fourth date. It makes for really awkward unfollows and blocking.

When in doubt just do not go on a date. Time is precious. If you are not feeling it sometimes is better to just do NOT do it




1 comment:

  1. OMG yes to RuPaul's drag race trivia! That over a date any day of the week! Although I can only play if it's about Season 8. (and also only if the questions are about Kim Chi.) ((and and only if the questions are about Kim Chi falling down.))

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